EYES ARE THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON
The single most important tool for an after dinner speaker is eye contact.
Picture the scene – you are stood alone in front of a group of people, probably strangers, and they are all looking at you. You feel immense pressure. You are just about to speak and the nerves are being multiplied by THEIR eye contact.
How on earth do you cope. It’s almost a fight or flight moment. I know of one groom who stood up to give a wedding speech in front of about one hundred and fifty people who looked at his audience, suddenly went white, purple and green and stuttered “I can’t do this” and sat down!
I had been coaching his “wife to be” about the event and suspected it might happen. In the event it did I suggested she stand up, pause, look at her new husband, take her time and look at everyone in the room, scanning their faces and looking them in the eye, in a positive, confident fashion.
This was to be followed by the opening line “My husband and I” in the style of the Queen’s Christmas Speech.
She did exactly as I had suggested and she brought the house down with her opening.
When she reported the event to me after the honeymoon she was still living on the adrenalin of that speech, the pats on the back, the cheers.
She said “Once they cheered and applauded they couldn’t get me off!”
Since that time she has successfully organised and introduced several successful charity fundraising events.
WHY DID IT WORK FOR HER?
Firstly, preparation and anticipation.
Secondly, eye contact.
Thirdly, content.
We had suspected the groom may not be up to the task. He was terrified and he was like that because he did not practice his speech. He expected to “wing it”. It’s a guaranteed route to failure.
The bride had prepared for how she would deal with this potential disaster. She was READY.
Her clever use of eye contact meant that the crowd melted to her will BEFORE she said a single word. It’s all in the timing.
She was not rushed. She stared at her husband, she engaged each and every guest and started when she was ready with a well rehearsed opening.
Finally, once she had that “buzz” from the applause she had already worked out a structure of what she would say based on what we had previously discussed.
She paused, looked them in the eye again and said “One second, I have to go in my handbag for something” and made a visual feast of doing so – and then pulled out a set of speech cards! followed by the immortal line……………………….”I hope the wedding night lasts longer than his speech!”
It all seemed so off the cuff – but prepared “off the cuff” remarks are always the best.
The real secret of her success was in winning back the room and she did that with EYE CONTACT.
All you grooms out there, learn from your wives to be, look them all in the eye and knock the audience dead.
Loved it – great blog